So I’m sitting there at my local diner, having a leisurely breakfast, occasionally chatting with the waitress about sports, the latest gossip, etc. I’m scanning the sports page when a couple enters the restaurant and sits down a few booths behind me. An urgent muttered dialogue commences, the two are arguing about something. My back is to them (and to the door for that matter; I’m not a lawman or a good spy) but I start to pick up snatches of their conversation.
“No, Stephanie, this is the place to be, this is the right place for you to be…”, the guy is saying. Stephanie suddenly bolts out of the booth and sits down on a bench next to the counter, facing the front door, nervously looking out at the parking lot.
“Stephanie! Stephanie, come back here!” If you can mutter an exclamation, that’s what the guy is doing. Its like watching a movie on TV with the volume down. The guy gets up and steers Stephanie back to the booth.
They resume their muttered argument. I only hear his end of it. “Stephanie! Stephanie, this is the right place to be, this is the safest place for you to be, he can’t shoot you right here in front of all these people…”
He can’t do what? He can’t shoot her? In front of all these people? Well, I don’t know who he is, but I do know crazy motherfuckers can shoot up whole crowds of people when they get the urge. Suddenly, it becomes very difficult to focus on my breakfast and the sports page.
The waitress comes over to them and very cheerfully asks, “Are you ready to order?” And the two of them order these huge breakfasts with very specific instructions ( eggs over easy, sourdough toast, bacon medium, etc). They sound very relaxed, they’re obviously planning to enjoy their meal. Me, not so much. I cut my breakfast short and get the hell out of there.
Good morning! And how are you today?
That is hilarious!!!
I had a similar breakfast. The pancakes were going down smoothly until a woman outside started screaming hysterically, by the sounds of the screaming she ran around the outside of the diner 2 or 3 times,before she rushed in the door and hoped behind the counter. A man with a pistol came in right behind her, points it at her as she pleads not to be killed, I’m thinking what the fuck! He said something, then turns the pistol into his own torso and fires a damn loud shot and crumpled to the floor, which I took as my cue to leave as fast as possible, without stopping to pay.